With the overwhelming amount of Magazines, TV Commercials and Images often portraying a beautiful model, it can often feel as though the ideal body image is constantly being shoved down our throats. ‘You need to have a big booty! Here’s some fake tan; paint your body, you’re too pale! She’s too skinny! She’s too fat. You’re an apple, You’re a pear!’ I’m sorry but I’m pretty sure we’re talking about actual human beings here- not fruit!
I’m truly tired of hearing what a person should and should not look like. It’s devastating to see so many women waste away years of their precious lives, desperately trying to reach unrealistic standards. Completely oblivious to the fact that they are already beautiful. It’s society that’s ugly. However, I know what it’s like to be trapped; I used to be one of those women.
A year ago, if you’d have told me that, not only would I have achieved the body confidence I always dreamed of obtaining, but I’d also be doing a small photo shoot in lingerie… Furthermore, to then post the content online for the world to see. Well, I’d have simply laughed in disbelief. Yet, here I am doing just exactly that and shocking myself inthe process! Ironically, it’s been pretty liberating and helped to create even more body confidence! Who knew?
Someone once told me that no one is ever happy with themselves; there’s always going to be something you want to change about your body. I can vividly recall, strongly disagreeing with this statement. Never have I believed that you can’t be truly happy with who you are. Nor have I ever believed that body confidence and self love can not be achieved. It is achievable! However, there’s a catch. It’s not going to happen overnight. Great things take time. It is a process that has to be worked on daily and requires you to really and truly look at yourself. Achieving a positive body image means changing your mindset on how you view yourself. The end results make all the hard work so worth it.
Here are some tips and things to reconsider…
‘Body confidence doesn’t come from trying to achieve the ‘perfect’ body. It comes from embracing the one you’ve already got!’
There is no wrong way to have a body. We’re all human. We all have flaws. Your body is yours and you should love it for all the things it can do. I really started to understand this more when I began working out. I learnt to appreciate how strong my body really is, how lucky I am to have all my limbs and that I am free from disease. Exercising, even just a little bit, really puts things into perspective. Find an activity that gets your body moving and that you will truly love to do. Pair this with feeding your body nutritious, soul foods. Oh darling, you’ll be glowing!
Don’t say anything about yourself that you
wouldn’t say about your best friend.
Would you tell your best friend that she was lazy, worthless and fat? Would you say that you hate her and wish she would just change? No, of course, not! So stop saying those hateful things to yourself!
It’s time to stop hurting yourself; you’re the one preventing your own happiness. If I ever notice those negative, toxic thoughts seeping in through the cracks in my mind. I imagine those thoughts turning into words. I imagine saying these things to my 4 year old self. Once I realize that I would never say these things to the little girl with the cute flowery hat, hopeful for the future, innocent and happy. Those thoughts are quickly diminished.
You are so much more than the number you
see on the scale.
The scale can’t tell you how good you feel. The scale can’t tell you how talented you are. The scale can’t tell you how much you’re loved. The scale can’t tell you how much you should love yourself. It can’t even tell you how strong you are. All it does is measure the effect of gravity on your body. That’s it!
The same thing goes for clothes. They’re just numbers, nothing more, nothing less. The last time I checked, numbers don’t measure your worth. Furthermore, if you ever reach that ‘goal figure’, you are only going to feel empty inside. The problem isn’t the digits, it’s that you need to accept the beautiful body you have been blessed with. Working hard for the body you want is great, so long as it is realistic, achievable and you’re not just doing it for vanity.
When I started my body confidence journey, I began by slowly changing my mindset- understanding that numbers don’t hold as much importance as I thought they did. Instead of waking up, looking in the mirror and telling myself all these cruel insults. I told myself three things I physically liked about myself. Then I would tell myself three things I liked about my personality. I’ve recommended this small task to my friends and they’ve found it has made a huge impact on their confidence. Just do this once everyday and try and chose different things you tell yourself each time.
If someone has a problem with your body,
it’s their problem–not yours!
Your body is your business. If someone says something rude to you about your body it’s because of their own self-esteem issues. You’re under no obligation to agree with them! The opinion that matters most is your own. No one has any idea how amazing you and your body is, except yourself. They don’t know how strong you are. How beautiful your soul is. What you’re capable of.
On the other hand, stop comparing yourself to other people. As Marilyn Monroe once said ‘wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.’ There are 7 billion people on this planet right now and no one is the exact same as who you are. Isn’t that incredible? You’re completely unique, there’s only one you. That in itself is amazing! Take pride in this fact.