My Dearest Daughter(s),
The world can be a frightening place. From the day you are born, it might seem as though everything is fighting against you. Like the waves crashing against the rocks, trying to break and crumble, there will be forces that try and drown you but know that every warrior has their army and I will stand beside you no matter what.
When you grow into the little munchkin I imagine you to be, where that child-like curiosity is burning bright and the world offers you so much to learn- take it. Take everything the world can offer you and try and understand that these lessons of firsts will create a magnificent foundation in which you can build on to become the person you wish to be. Saying goodbye to me on your first day of school might be difficult and their will be a sense of loneliness creeping inside of you but know that you are never fighting your battles alone as long as you keep me in your heart.
Everything will change. Nothing will stay the same. Be ready.
When you hit the terrible teens, things will become increasingly hard. Your body will start to change and those around you will too. People might not be who they seem and you may feel lost and confused. Girls can be incredibly cruel to each other, they might throw insults your way, spread rumors and laugh at you. It took me a long time to realize that this is a reflection of those people and not you. Do not spend so many years coming to terms with this lesson as I once did, for you can not change these people and it is a waste of precious time to try and do so. Taking their abuse gives them power over you and my dear, you are worth much more. Understand that no one can make you feel lesser if you do not let them. So, don’t let them.
I hope that during this phase of your life, you will not become one of these people in desperation to fit in or some other ridiculous reason. This does not make you a good or beautiful person- it will only result in a deep state of unhappiness that is difficult to shift.
As your school years draw to a close, you’ll be asked who you want to be and what you want to do when you leave school. You’ll be pressurized and feel as though you have to have everything figured out. Let me tell you a little secret: No one ever has it figured out. You know why? Because life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself. Be who ever you want to be and never let any one tell you otherwise. If they do, use it too fuel the fire flickering inside of you and not blow the flame out. To put it simply, don’t settle and always believe in yourself because I do and you should too.
B E T H E C H A N G E Y O U
W I S H T O S E E I N T H E
W O R L D.
As you grow, the world might not seem as extraordinary. Through an abundant amount of education, information and life experiences your perception will change. The world is the same but you are not. Your innocence will fade and you will be aware of the terrible cruelty humanity is capable of. Yes, there are many dreadful and unspeakable things that happen every day but do not forget how extraordinary and wondrous this giant rock we call earth can be. Hold onto that perception you had as a child and use your new knowledge to refine it into a positive realism. Know that you can help change the world by spreading compassion, love and kindness wherever you go. Be the change you wish to see and live by example for others- you might be surprised at how much you can impact those around you.
I hope that you are living in a world that treats women better than how it does in the time I live now, but the human race has a long journey ahead of them and it’s unrealistic to believe that society can just dramatically change in a single generation. As you start to grow into a young, beautiful woman you might notice how suddenly things change. Men will start to cat call you in the streets and shout derogatory insults. A fear will wash over you when you walk down a dark street. Other women will ‘compete’ against you or if you are as unfortunate as I am, you may have already had girls laugh and insult your appearance at a younger age. You will begin to understand how the media objectifies females and you will be told that you can’t do things simply because you are a woman. You will come to learn that many value beauty over intelligence. Moreover, you will be compared to models with unobtainable goals and it may result in you hating your body. I hope that when that day arrives, you will come and find me but if for some reason you get lost on the way I’ll share my wisdom with you now.
Believe in miracles…
It may be hard to believe but you are a miracle. I’m not just saying that because I’m your mother and I’m being biased. It’s a scientific fact; there’s a one in three trillion chance that out of all the possible children your father and I could have created, it’s you who exist! How incredible is that? Hold on to this fact and never forget how much you are loved. I promise that I will love you regardless of who you are, what you chose to believe in and the choices you make.
I can only dream that I have been the role model I desperately desire to be for you. A strong, independent woman that can offer you wisdom such as that in this letter. Someone who can offer you guidance and has taught you to value intelligence over physical appearance. That what truly makes a person beautiful is not how symmetrical their face is or how small someones waist is but the strength of their heart, their compassion, kindness, sense of adventure and how deeply they love. Beauty fades but who we are inside stays with us forever. Look deeper than just the surface of someone, discover how magnificent their soul is and how incredible yours is too. This is what really makes someone beautiful and it’s what makes you beautiful too. You are more than what the media tells you, you are.
Beauty is not in the face;
beauty is a light in the heart.
~ Kahlil Gibran
Society has an unfortunate desire to categorize everyone and everything. There will be so many boxes and you may feel like you need to confine to societies expectations and label yourself. Please don’t for these are only created by people that want nothing less than to diminish what makes you so special. You are unique and that frightens many. Don’t let it scare you.
I hope that you don’t use makeup as a mask to hide yourself because you’ll be hiding your soul too. I hope that when you look in the mirror you tell yourself all the amazing things you see and not point out your flaws. It is not the road to happiness. Remember what I said before? You are a miracle. I hope that you never loose sight of your own worth and if someone ever makes you feel worthless remove them from your life immediately because you deserve more.
Above all, my deepest desire is not to wish you a ‘happily ever after’ because this ending should only be left for the last page of the books you read. Instead I hope you experience the wild joys of life, the beautiful ups and the dreadful downs that comes with living– of making mistakes and finding successes. It is only when you hit those lows that you can appreciate the highs and develop into the wonderful person I know you will be. It is the very things which tear you down that build you up, each time stronger, better. So, everyday, rise like the sun and burn bright.