20 and never been kissed


Yes, you read the title right. I’m twenty years young and still have yet to experience something as trivial as my first kiss. Obtaining this knowledge will perhaps result in two reactions. Either you will be able to relate or baffled that in my early adulthood something like this hasn’t happened yet. I could list of the various reasons that all played apart in this, however, the reasons why should be of none concern as I really don’t think this is something one should justify.

I haven’t had my first kiss and I haven’t dated. So what? There is so much pressure on the younger generation to chase after romance and society is constantly telling us that if we are not in a relationship or experienced this in some way then there’s something wrong with us. I’ve seen it time and time again, those around me jumping into relationships and pursuing their crushes. Whilst there’s nothing particularly wrong with that, your worth is so much more than whose interested in you.

I’ve never seen this as a big deal but the reactions I always get from releasing this information is quite the opposite. I was at my friends house party for her birthday, everyone had had quite a bit to drink and somehow we’d gotten on to a conversation about boyfriends. Apparently it was a shock that I had never had one but not much as so when they’d found out I hadn’t kissed anyone. “Why? You’re gorgeous, this doesn’t make sense!” They’d shouted in disbelief. Whilst I’ll take the compliment, physical attractiveness really doesn’t have anything to do with it.

I’m in no rush for these things to happen- to kiss a guy or be romantically involved with one. I’ve never been one to give into society’s pressures. There are still so many things I want to do, experiences I desire to take and lessons I long to learn. I’ve lived on my own during my time in university and it was one of the best decisions I had made. I managed to overcome an eating disorder, transforming myself from being vastly overweight to a healthy body that is now lifting weights. I’ve conquered my anxiety that I had suffered with almost my whole life. I overcome a troubling childhood and most importantly I created a person who I am truly happy to be. I genuinely believe that none of this would have happened, had I rushed into a relationship or felt my worth was somehow tied to how many boys liked me.

If you feel as though you are ‘too old’ not to have experienced something like your first kiss, then know that it is society that has it wrong. To place a time frame or expiration date on life experiences is really quite ludicrous and there is certainly nothing wrong with someone if they haven’t kissed someone and they are twenty or thirty or even sixty. We are all on our own paths and things happen at different times for everyone. If it doesn’t happen for me until I’m seventy, then that’s OK. If it doesn’t happen at all, then that’s OK too. I’m content with my life and myself and I will continue living it just as I please.