Why you should never change yourself for love

The water was still. Little sun rays kissing the surface in a gentle caress and warming the air. There was the distant sound of laughing from the crowd at the bar and the boats sat on the canal in peaceful harmony. After shooting, we sat and took the atmosphere in and in typical Eloise fashion, I spent most of that time, reflecting on what I had learnt on my trip to London the previous week. I’d briefly spoken about judging places and people but not on the other side of the coin.

The canal we shot at was equally beautiful, with it’s colourful boats and rows of flowers, as it was seemingly unpleasant. The buildings were eroding and had obviously not been cared for and most of the area looked ‘rough’ and intimidating. However, the sun still shined on the whole area, whether it was what humans deem ‘ugly’ or ‘beautiful’. It made me think how love does not judge and embraces both the good and bad. The rain falls on weeds as well as flowers, yet we rarely perceive this. In this forgetfulness do we allow others to judge and accept their projections and distortions. How about instead, we fill our selves with self-love?

“The wave does not need to die to become water. She is already water.”

~ Thich Nhat Hanh 

Too many times do I see the youth of today changing themselves to fit in with the status quo. The truth is, everyone is trying to ‘fit in’ and alter what makes them who they are, in fear that they won’t be accepted or loved. It’s deeply saddening and yet so very real. If you find yourself changing things you initially liked about yourself for some one else’s love then is it really love. I don’t claim to be an expert when it comes to love because I am by no means equipped with various knowledge on the subject. However, I do know that true love is about accepting the whole of a person and not just the bits we like. It’s about loving the flaws and faults just as much as the strengths. Perfection does not exist. Improving ones-self is amazing but to change ones-self in a desperate manor to achieve someone else’s love is self-sabotage.

We shouldn’t destroy ourselves to become something else. Alternatively, we should remember that we are already an eternal soul who is always loved. Our lives hold a deep meaning and profound purpose. Like the gentle waves of the canal Tabitha and I sat beside, we should just be and understand that we are already everything.

 I embraced who I was when I threw on this classic outfit. So what if I have cellulite on my thighs or am too ‘pale’ to have my legs out? I love my body and I shouldn’t change myself when I am already fine the way I am.

The hat is a reflection of who I am and I love wearing it. It gains a lot of attention and many find it weird because it’s different but really why should I care what these people think? It makes me happy and if someone can’t accept that quirky part of me then that’s on them. I won’t change my sense of style to fit in or gain acceptance.

I am a big lover for high waisted things and these shorts have became a strong staple this summer. Paired with the white collared blouse and my beautiful vegan boots you have seen so much of, it’s the perfect river-inspired outfit with the right amount of class. I, of course, had to add that personal touch with my paper boy hat which I think adds a cool edginess to the overall look. A chic outfit perfect for the summer that ticks all the boxes. The bare legs and arms keep my feeling cool all day, the hat keeps the sun off my face and all the while I’m feeling super chic.


Shirt:  Ted Baker Collared Top

Shorts: Finders Keepers High Sea Shorts

Boots: By Blanche Daydream boots in black

Hat: Paperboy Hat